It's August...

It's August... Last days of Summer (Indian Summer through September, right?) back-to-school preparations (shiny, new school gear, backpacks, laptops, & clothes) and the teeniest, earliest thoughts of the coming holiday season... lots of opportunity to contemplate renewal, re-starts, beginnings - there's a newness in the air that begins to evolve this month of August and carries through September. August/September - the early Fall season - always instigated this sense of newness, change, starting all-over-again as opportunity for change seems to present itself. And so, I attempt to open myself to the opportunities that I do see, those just peeking around the corner, and I will begin.
These past months leading up to now have been most difficult. There has been loss and more loss - related adjustments to be made. I am still reeling within the throes of those adjustments, working so hard to make sense of it all - not really succeeding, at least not-quite-yet... But, I do persevere. March through April was spent re-locating from my beloved apartment home. My youngest son left to Marine boot camp - he himself embarking on a new, brave life's path. May brought the loss of my mother, my only remaining parent - she battled for three years before succumbing. And, yet, despite that sorrow (it's with me, still, have no doubt) I was able to celebrate my son's joyous graduation in June. My heart is over-run with joy, with pride... We watched 4th of July fireworks together. He left to continue his training. I went back to work.
I have spent these last weeks attempting to implement changes to my online business - I want that to grow and be successful so badly! And, I realise that there can be no success as long as procrastination has such a hold of me. There can be no success without hard work and devoted determination. In light of that achknowledgement, I make these few notes, begin to explore new avenues, and make ready to really grow my business and create the success that is mine.
I do miss my mother. Sometimes I feel at such a loss, because I can't just call her and listen to her voice, hear her words of encouragement, tease her beloved dorkiness (yes, it's inherited)... not anymore. Why do we never realise what we have until we have it no longer?
With that query, I promise myself to do all that I had commited to, achieve all that I intend, and to not neglect what I have - my beloved family and friends, my job, my work, my life... I go on.