On Meditation...

It's August - my god, the year is passing me by, and without a lot getting accomplished! It feels like I am working so hard toward that ever-driving goal (my personal freedom, my website's success, a brick-n-mortar storefront - lifelong dream, that)... and I am not quite making any progress, visible or otherwise! It all becomes so overwhelming, the dreaming, the planning, the work with what feels like nothing to show for all that effort. I admit it - I do become tired. Just short of depressed, even. What does one do with this?
Sometimes, I take a break. Especially when I find myself succumbing to "naptime" a tad too frequently for comfort - i.e. more napping than working. That break consists of finding a good book and losing myself in delightful, suspenseful storytelling (thank you, Nora Roberts, Stephen King, and Dean Koontz). But, as much as I adore reading a favorite suspense thriller, that can be just another form of procrastination and/or avoidance. What is a better, healthier method (at least, for me) of dealing with these feelings of inadequacy and failure?
I fall back to affirmations and meditation. When I first started working at The Blissful Soul those few years ago, I had access to an assortment of marvelous self-help books authored by Wayne Dyer, Gregg Braden, and Louise Hay, among many, many others. I was quite amazed, in fact, to come across the original book by Ms. Hay that actually started it all for me quite some time ago: "...You Can Heal Your Life..." I had actually read this first book years before, without knowing who she was at all. Talk about full-circle.
I had taken that first book of affirmations all those years ago and sort of tweaked them to suit my particular needs and I utilized them as part of a prayer and meditation practice that I committed myself to. I can't say I saw a lot of change in my life, through those years, but I did feel better for the activity. Prayer in and of itself is quite healing, as far as that goes. And, I certainly did a lot of praying, that was for sure.
Anyway, over these years I've grown, done a bit of modifying to those prayers practices, those original beginning attempts at meditations... I've read and studied other texts - on theology, spirituality, etc - in conjunction with the self-help, locating a thread of connection between all. Creating, forging a prayerful path, if you will. Something to "do" pretty much daily that would give (or at least encourage) some semblance of peace that would, almost by default, create that productivity that would result in some sort of life success.
Has there been "success"? one might ask. Eh, to a degree, I suppose. I am much better at finishing those things I start, which is a plus. I have made life-altering changes... relocating from L.A. to Valencia being the biggest for me, so far. I work very hard to be more independent, to grow intellectually, emotionally, while improving health and fitness... I've worked hard to achieve some semblance of financial independance - hard, hard, hard that is!! Right now - yes, it is still paycheck-to-paycheck... but, I am so very thankful for that paycheck and the opportunities and friendships that have come with employment. And, I persevere with the website "business".
Again, to help me through it all, I have fallen back on the affirmations and a renewed interest in meditation. The affirmations are what they are (it's funny how sometimes the day will bring with it the very thing - or persons - that I have affirmed/meditated/prayed for). The meditation, though, I found to be improving as I took the time to study and learn how to meditate. I found a great tool in this through the Meditation Expert. Oh, my, this man, Bill Bodhri, just offers the most detailed teaching tools, meditations and advice on how to get the most from meditating. I am so grateful for stumbling across his website - yes, I found him quite by accident.
Most of my most influential resources have been found by accident, as it happens. More to come...